The Motz of Butz: About the shell point collecting trick

My gas station on Bergstrasse in Zurich has risked losing its good image thanks to the ClubSmart card. Shell still has a gas station attendant there, in addition to this liquor kiosk, who puts the right stogie in the tank, cleans the windows, and even checks the oil level. Combined with a little chat about the weather or something, filling up the tank is not an impersonal, anonymous process, but a charming experience. But there was once such a nice gas station attendant, who could persuade me against a signature for such a Shell ClubSmart card and thus for this membership. Except for air miles, I don't own any Coop, Cumulus or other cards. Since I had this personal, non-transferable plastic piece, the respective Shell gas station attendants asked me to have points credited to it for gasoline. Over time, these points accumulated, so that I was able to choose something suitable from a SmartClub catalog.

Among the unnecessary and rather cheap-looking so-called great offers, the family council decided on an electric Philips sonic toothbrush for 4999 points for the bathroom in the country house in Tuscany. This corresponds to about 0.5 percent of the retail value. Such a brush can be bought online for CHF 44. What this decision then triggered is best described by my wife Inge Steiger herself.

Per login in mid-September to the personal account of the ClubSmart card, we were able to debit the object. Then confirmation with note "delivery within 15 days". The unimportant matter was forgotten until we informed ClubSmart in writing in December that the object had not yet arrived. An email (without attachment) 10 days after that asked us to declare under oath that nothing of the sort had arrived, which was done by letter. ClubSmart asked us again at the end of January to fill out the form, which was not in the attachment at the time. The reshipment was subsequently confirmed to us with a request for patience on February 9. Eureka! The "object of desire" arrived addressed to the wrong house number on March 18.

My theory: If you want to retain your customers, then what you give them must not be of cheap quality. Every time I used this also ergonomically wrong toothbrush, I was annoyed Shell. That has now come to an end, see photo. The magazine Bilanz once gifted me (of all things) with a ceramic knife. I will never forget the cut I gave myself with it. On the other hand, I still have fond memories of the original gifts from Stefan Merz, such as fire extinguishers painted with his CI at Christmas.

If you do not create a good idea, you should not give anything away. How often do you get a gift useless nonsense. Fortunately, quickly forgotten who was the donor. Conclusion: It is better to do nothing than something unoriginal, inconspicuous and inexplicable. This precept also applies to any advertising. My put-upon: Tinger, my wife, gave me a brand-new Oral B black from Braun, with no points deducted.

Theophil Butz, graphic designer, advertising agency owner, inspirer and, for more than four years now, mothballs for Werbewoche readers. Please send any relevant information to theophil@undbutz.ch.